What Are You NOT Seeing?
It’s like we all walk through life with blinders on.
Each of us carries a type of unconscious mindset that limits our view.
It’s a belief pattern makes us feel that the right thing to do is “X” when in fact that’s not always true!
It’s just how we’re wired – We’ll just naturally click into this way of thinking without even realizing it because it’s such a part of who we are.
On one hand, this is good – it’s the key to our success in life; it represents our strengths.
But there’s a Downside…
But everything has a downside and here it’s that this can give you too narrow a view of the possibilities in any situation.
It can lock you into making the same kinds of decisions, choosing the same behaviors, over and over again, without seeing other options, until you finally create a very small space for yourself in life.
It can be so valuable to be able to take off the blinders, to see what you’ve been missing.
Then you immediately have more range, emotionally and practically, in terms of real-life decisions, career direction, relationship problems, and dealing with any issues that come up in life.
In Chinese face reading, the patterns in your face reveal your inner patterns of personality, your unique belief system.
And we can also read the patterns in your birth date to discover even more ways to help you take off the blinders and get a wider view!
Here’s an example – See if you can recognize yourself or someone you know!
For most (not all) people born in 1945, 1954, 1963, 1972, 1981, 1990, 1999
OR for someone with these facial features: rounded forehead; shadowed under-eyes, prominent chin
Blinders-on belief pattern: “Better to not say anything.”
Lisa and Mark had been married for 7 years. While they loved each other deeply, there was one main issue that was driving them apart: his tendency to not tell her things.
“It’s like pulling teeth to get more than a one-word answer from him! And sometimes he doesn’t tell me anything at all!
Like last week, he was late for dinner and he didn’t even call. By the time he got home, I was starving, and dinner was cold.
Today, my mother-in-law mentioned he’s going to be at their house all day Saturday. Didn’t he think he might want to tell me this?!”
But Mark didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
“I was stuck in a meeting and didn’t have a chance to tell her I wasn’t going to make dinner. I thought she’d be intelligent enough to figure it out and eat on her own.
And why is she trying to control what I do on Saturday? I should be free to do what I want!”
Silence…
The main issue here is that Mark’s personality type has a natural tendency toward silence. It can unconsciously incline him to believe the best thing to do is not say anything.
One reason for this is that he doesn’t even think of talking about something – It just doesn’t emerge in his consciousness to do so.
Another reason is that he’s afraid the other person will get upset in some way and he doesn’t want to have to deal with that.
Often people like this also have a frequent experience of being misunderstood by others.
So they choose to stay quiet because the belief is, “What’s the use – It’s just going to end up with them misunderstanding me!”
People with this pattern often struggle with trust issues in life overall. It’s just part of what they chose to work on in this lifetime.
But what they don’t realize is that their staying silent can actually create even more problems with trust.
Because when they stay silent, it leads the people in their lives to feel they’re keeping secrets from them, or being dishonest.
Then people stop trusting them, or constantly press them for information because they know it won’t be offered otherwise.
Which can then make the quiet person talk even less! This is exactly what had been happening with Lisa and Mark.
Taking the blinders off:
Here’s what I told Mark about what I read in his patterns: It was important for him to understand that one of the brilliant things about him is that he naturally intuits things.
This means that he doesn’t need to talk about every little thing, and that he can more easily go with the flow than most people.
He also needs more freedom than most people, and hates to be controlled. In fact, he’s more likely to assume someone is trying to control him even when that’s not the case, and that can make him shut down even more.
Here’s the thing – We all assume that everyone is just like us or should be!
It was essential for Mark to realize that he has powers of intuition that others lack.
This means he’ll sometimes have to make an extra effort to tell Lisa the things he assumed she’d be able to figure out on her own!
And it can be so valuable to understand that by not telling Lisa things, he’s creating an environment of mistrust, the very thing that challenges him overall in life.
And the more quiet he is, the more she’ll behave as if she’s trying to control him.
Mark’s response…
When he heard this, Mark sat silent for a very long time (unsurprisingly!). Then he gave a big sigh and said, “You’re right. It’s innate.”
True to his nature, he was a man of few words! But it was enough; he’d heard. And I knew he heard it at a heart level.
Over the next few weeks, Lisa and Mark together developed a new level of ease and understanding.
He suggested that every Sunday night, they have a brief conversation about the schedule for the coming week.
For Lisa, that was a small step, but enough to move her to a new place of trust in him.
And she said that for her, it was a huge revelation to learn the reason for how Mark’s mind works, because this helped her to not take his behavior so personally any longer.
A few months later, both Lisa and Mark showed up at one of my Discover Your Inner Design workshops.
And a few days after that, I got an email from Lisa, declaring, “Taking this course should be a required part of pre-marital counseling!” Ha! Wouldn’t that be nice!
It can be so valuable to take your blinders off and see what you’ve been missing – about yourself, the people in your life, and the infinite possibilities available to you!